5 Movies That Will Suck in 2017

Every year there is a special crop of films that have good intentions and strive to get our butts into a seat. Sadly, no matter how hard they try they just can’t live up to their own hype. These are the films that we have dubbed, Movies That Will Suck. Below are our crop of films that may be doomed to suck. Read on and afterwards tell us your thoughts in the comments.

Transformers The Last Knight

Are we really up to the fifth installment of this series? I’ll give the first film a pass. It wasn’t great, but it was OK, and a good attempt at bringing one my favorite childhood cartoons to live action. But the next three films…terrible. If you could get past the racist jokes and the terrible writing, you still can’t make out which robot is which during the fight scenes. I predict much suck from this fifth film, no matter how hard they try it’s just two hours of mindless explosions and crashes. That never stopped people from going to see them, however. Critics will hate it, but it still make millions.

Power Rangers

Call me nostalgic or call me crazy, but I truly want this to be good. Unfortunately, it has three strikes against it already that will no doubt send it to suckville. First, these new rangers look more CGI than practical, and we all know what you get when you CGI the costume. Second, the trailer gives you the setup of teenagers getting super powers and figuring out what they can do – Spider-Man anyone? Third, can you take a cheesy kids property from the 90’s and make it serious and entertaining? Marvel seems to do it on the regular, so there is hope, but I’ll hold my breath. To quote my favorite film series, I’ve got a bad feeling about this.

CHIPS

I loved watching reruns of this show when I was a kid. It’s still fun to watch now. But this totally unnecessary film treatment looks to relieve itself all over the original, and then retell the same joke over and over again. Watch the trailer and you’ll see what I mean. I can let it get away with one dick joke, but do we need to go back to the same dick joke over and over again, and throw in some gay jokes just to be sure. Every time I see this trailer it makes me angry. It’s one thing to resurrect old properties for a quick nostalgia buck, but perverting it is just stupid.

Wonder Woman

I wavered long and hard over putting this one on the list. I like Gal Gadot as Wonder Woman and I like the story they seem to be going with here. That said, it still looks to have the same dark and moody tone that Batman v Superman had, and we all know how good that film was. DC’s cinematic universe hasn’t done too well so far, and the fact that this one has to fit within that same universe, doesn’t bode well for it. Batman v Superman was a train wreck, Suicide Squad was OK but not great, so Wonder Woman has some big hurdles to jump. But that could be a good thing, too. Maybe Gadot and crew can right the DC ship in time for Justice League. We’ll find out soon enough.

Justice League

Much like Wonder Woman, this film has the burden of needing to be better than BvS, or the DC cinematic universe could be dead before 2018. This one does have the two best things about BvS – Ben Affleck’s Batman and Gal Gadot’s Wonder Woman. I do like the chemistry between Wonder Woman and Bruce Wayne in the trailer, but the supporting cast doesn’t have me convinced. The filmmakers look to be injecting some humor here where BvS had none. Will it work? We’ll find out this winter, but I’m still not sold on this universe’s Flash or Cyborg. If the ball gets dropped here, it may be time to say goodbye to this cinematic universe.

What films do think will suck this year? Let us know in the comments section below.


All opinions are that of the author and do not necessarily reflect those of Deck Ape...or anyone else. Arrr!

R.A. Miller

R. A. Miller, the pen name of Robert Miller, spends his days working for the Suncoast Media Group and his nights writing for Deck Ape, as well as his own fiction. A graduate of Full Sail University with a BFA in Creative Writing for Entertainment, Robert uses his knowledge and his skills to create spectacular, page turning fiction.

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