No discussion about the sheer comic value of the Howard Stern Show can go without mentioning the ultimate prankster duo: Sal Governale and Richard Christy. These guys have been raining prank phone calls on hapless victims for over a decade, and I still fall on the floor laughing at calls from ten years ago. As a matter of fact, I’ve been laughing a lot lately, as I’m in the grips of a Sal and Richard binge-listening marathon.
The jokes hold up regardless of how many times I’ve heard them, but this time around, I’ve found myself wondering what in the hell ever happened to the victims of the pranks. Forget the drawling Tradio guy (I’m pretty sure he died on the air and the “Welcome to Tradiooooooooooooooooooooooooo” line was just crypt dust escaping from his lungs.) I’m thinking more of the poor public access TV show hosts. What have they been doing for the last few years?
Well, I looked into it…
Harvey, the Science Show Guy with Crap on His Face
To be honest, I felt like his show might actually be entertaining even without Richard calling to talk about his schlong being stuck in a beaker. If nothing else, Harvey knows how to respond to a heckler. Instead of getting completely flustered by Sal and Richard, he actually seems to roll with it quite well. (That’s a pretty impressive feat when compared to the Swap N’ Shop host who just stammered like an idiot for twelve minutes in the aftermath.)
Based on the phone calls, I pictured a much fatter guy. In fact, I had been imagining a sort of “Jabba the Scientist” character. In reality, he looks like my dad. Disappointing.
What’s Up With Harvey Now?
Harvey has an active YouTube channel in addition to his TV broadcast. His videos are jam-packed with weird effects and LSD-like chroma key, and they make me want to shove a pipette into my eye. That being said, he seems to be doing alright for himself. Not sure if he’s still stuffing his face with peanuts while on the air.
Seriously, though…this is the flashiest, brightest, craziest use of transitions and green screen that I’ve ever seen. Check out this clip I grabbed where Harvey takes it to another level by wearing a color-keyed shirt, thus making himself into a floating nether-head:
Hugs for Harlem, Hosted by Mike “Let’s Go Dere!” Green
Man, none of these people look how I pictured them. Mike Green, the former host of the “Hugs for Harlem” public access show, sounds exactly like Chris Rock, but he looks like a mashup between Morpheus and Beetlejuice (the Michael Keaton version, not the Stern version).
From my limited knowledge of “Hugs for Harlem,” Mike would bring on a local musician or something, and then they would pander for donations. Contributions were supposed to benefit the children of the community, however…
What’s Up With Mike Now?
In 2013, Green was brought up on charges for taking a $23,000 contract with the Division of Youth and Children Services and spending most of it on himself. The Department of Investigation also pointed out that the official “Hugs for Harlem” Twitter account contained way too much content about fat asses and drugs. According to Daily News, two of the official tweets read:
Rappers have a lot of fine chicks in the video but most of this dudes are d**k in the a** type n***as. #TeamHugz All Day”
Big Up to All the Pretty Women who sexiness is their Brains and Sweet Smell and Cute Smile.”
It’s unclear how this related to after-school programs for inner city youth, but I do agree that big up to all the pretty women.
BONUS: No Gravity
What about the band that was hanging out on “Hugs for Harlem” when Sal and Richard decided to derail the whole bastarding show? Well, that depends on which No Gravity they were. They’re either a progressive power-metal band from Italy or a Slovak nu metal band. There are two bands with the name, neither famous, but judging from the accents in the audio, I’m guess the show featured the latter.
The only important thing is this screencap from the No Gravity page on Last.fm:
The Kinda Hot Soviet Chick Chess Show
I thought it might be hard to track down the show since I couldn’t recall the name being mentioned during the prank audio clips, but I was quite wrong. A quick search for NYC-based chess programs revealed the Facebook page for “Chess Now.” Out of the thousands of chess-related public access programs that I assume broadcast out of Manhattan, I’d nailed it on the first try.
Yes, they actually acknowledged Sal and Richard in the description of their debut episode. Why not? It was probably the highlight of the entire series. What I want to know is whose massive, grave-digging man-hand is reaching up to strangle Tana in the above photo? Maybe it was the Slovakian “founder and member of No Gravity band.” Pretty sure he was an undead servant of Vigo.
What I found most stimulating about “Chess Now” is the apparent half-assery of the production itself. You can regularly hear the sound engineer/producer/janitor feeding lines to the on-camera talent. Word for word, like: “Say ‘we’re back’.” There was even one instance where two women were on camera asking each other why they were there. It was one heroin dose away from being a scene from Taken.
Then you have the terrible split-screen where they overlay the chessboard over the half of the screen where Tana is sitting, so a good portion of the show features a shot of an empty sound stage and a rug.
What’s Up With Tana Now?
Over the course of the “Chess Now,” the series rotated through several guests. But we don’t give a shit about them…we love Tana and her angry screaming.
I was able to track her down to a short-lived YouTube channel called “TanaTime.” It opened with her digging through garbage cans and now I feel sad.
The “Talkin’ Yankees” Guy (aka Jonah Falcon)
After listening to numerous prank clips involving this guy’s sports talk show, I started to feel some empathy for the dude. Jonah Falcon, the host, seemed like a frustrated sports nerd who just wanted to make something of his show. When it got to the point that he sounded like he was going to cry and he gave his “this show is going to succeed because I’m going to pour my heart into it” monologue, I found it damn near heartbreaking.
Then we all found out that Jonah has the largest penis in the world, so fuck that guy. Ironically, he even appeared on the Howard Stern Show to talk about how massive his junk is. The jerk has come full circle.
He’s listed on Wikipedia as an actor and a writer and has appeared on television and in films like A Beautiful Mind. As would be expected, most of his work has revolved around his massive dong, which presumably has its own orbit. He’s agreed to donate his penis to the Icelandic Phallological Museum after he dies.
In other news, Iceland has a penis museum.
Check out the above prank calls in this video:
All opinions are that of the author and do not necessarily reflect those of Deck Ape...or anyone else. Arrr!