Ranking the Villains of the Marvel Comic Universe

MCU Iron Man vs Extremis

Ahoy!

The Marvel Cinematic Universe is the premier juggernaut in comic books movies and television.  Make no mistake, whether or not you are a fan of Marvel Comics, it is impossible to deny the power that Disney has injected into the brand and the success that has followed.  With a veritable library of films that have made enough bank to make Scrooge McDuck jealous (I still want to try and swim through gold coins) and successful television shows to boot, it’s hard to find fault with the methods in bringing these comic book stories to life.

Until you consider the villains, that is.

In fact, the biggest beef that most fans of the movies have is the fact that the villains seem terribly handled.  Oh, sure, they’re bad and all, and if they had mustaches they’d be a-twirlin’ them, but we never get to truly hate them enough, it seems. And so it is that I have taken it upon myself to do what many others have done before me and rank the villains of the MCU (television villains included), so that you know who has really done bad so, so good.

WARNING:  HERE THERE BE SPOILERS

MCU Kurse

#20 Kurse

Featured in Thor: The Dark World

Status: Death by BLIP

Originally Algrim the Strong, a Dark Elf from Svartalfheim (which coincidentally sounds like something you might say when someone sneezes near you), he becomes the monstrous Kurse when his master, Malekith, performs some dark elf hoodoo on him or something.

GETS POINTS FOR: Being really strong, beating down Thor and Loki.

GETS DEMERITS FOR: Changing out a ‘K’ with a ‘C’, a fad that is just so damn 90s.  Looking like a minotaur with an imploded head, basically being a bad guy with no damn personality.  He could have died about an hour earlier in the film and nobody would have blinked.

VERDICT: Totes forgettable.

MCU Aldrich Killian

#19 Aldrich Killian/The Mandarin

Featured in Iron Man 3 (or, Dammit we really should’ve stopped at the first Iron Man, right?)

Status: Death by EXTREMIS PEPPER

A scientist that got rooftop jilted by Tony Stark, creates an unstable drug that makes people breathe fire and eventually explode all over the place.  Oh, he takes the drug too!

GETS POINTS FOR: Um, did you not read “makes people breathe fire”?  I mean, holy shit!

GETS DEMERITS FOR:  Seriously, all this because Tony Stark left you hanging?  He never really had a sterling rep for being considerate to hot women…why would he NOT be that way to a handicapped nobody scientist?  Also, part of the biggest farce in handling an iconic villain EVER.  Fuck that rope-a-dope bullshit, I wanted some Ben Kingsley.  Oh, and Pepper Potts kicked his ass.

VERDICT: We still haven’t forgiven the whole “fake Mandarin” thing.

Jonathan Praise

Jonathan Praise is a writer, in the sense that he occasionally sits down in front of a keyboard and punches buttons, turning the blank page into a collection of letters and words. He rarely finishes anything, so the reader should feel somewhat special for actually witnessing the completion of this article. He is currently working on CLEAVE and THE ADVENTURES OF SKULLBOY when he isn't being a husband and father of dubious quality.

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