WTF Comics Presents: Zeitgeist

The X-Men part of the Marvel Universe is full of oddities. It’s clearly the direction they intended, as the premier issue of the very first X-Men comic (way back in 1963) contained the tag line “The Strangest Superheroes of All!” ┬áThese mutants aren’t just superpowered individuals, but also weirdos.

Some of the primary characters of the X-Men are more freakish than anything, at least at first sight. Beast is covered in blue hair. Angel (or Archangel, if you prefer) has a pair of big ‘ol wings sprouting out of his back. Wolverine has some of the worst hair, ever. The list of secondary characters only adds to the strangeness.

It’s the superpowers that sometimes veer us into odd and into stupid crazy. We discussed the Gin Genie, whose drunkenness made her more powerful. And so now we introduce the yang to her yin, if you will, in terms of what happens to many of us when you have way too much to drink. WTF COMICS PRESENTS

ZEITGEIST

Aside from having a hero name that sounds like some Hitler might scream if he had Tourette’s, Zeitgeist’s strangeness stems from his power: ACID BARF.

I’m pretty sure it’s probably the worst goddamn case of reflux any gastroenterologist has ever seen. It can melt through steel, which is super weird because somehow when it’s on it’s way up his esophagus, it doesn’t burn through his body tissue. He wears a weird plastic mouthpiece that apparently can withstand his corrosive yakking.

Zeitgeist-xmen
Tell me again why Wolverine is the one who gets all the ladies?!

 

The other problem with basically having the same power as the xenomorphs from the Alien series, except in puke form, is the question of how Zeitgeist activates his most potent weapon. Does he do the two-fingered anorexic howyadoin? And if that’s the case, what a shitty message to send kids. I mean, don’t purge on purpose, boys and girls, unless it’s the only way to escape the mad scientist’s giant robot!

On top of that, I hate it when I throw up. I mean, honestly; it’s like my whole damn body basically refuses to do anything until I’m finally done yarking up whatever horrible food I had a few hours previously.

Truth be told, I don’t care what Zeitgeist’s backstory is or what his costume looks like. The fact that throwing up is his superpower is idiotic, unless you’re in the modeling industry.

zeitgeist-comic
LOL.

Get this guy some Kaopectate for crying out loud.

Vaya con Dios!


All opinions are that of the author and do not necessarily reflect those of Deck Ape...or anyone else. Arrr!

Jonathan Praise

Jonathan Praise is a writer, in the sense that he occasionally sits down in front of a keyboard and punches buttons, turning the blank page into a collection of letters and words. He rarely finishes anything, so the reader should feel somewhat special for actually witnessing the completion of this article. He is currently working on CLEAVE and THE ADVENTURES OF SKULLBOY when he isn't being a husband and father of dubious quality.

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